วันศุกร์ที่ 9 สิงหาคม พ.ศ. 2556

Captain Pushit gets some Juicy Porn Tips at Starbutts

The Thai language, and its unwitting (to English speakers) double entendres, has me guffawing like a schoolgirl. For some reason, I’m reminded of the unlikely Japanese name in Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Mikado, Titi Pu. It really is that accidentally potty-mouthed, the stuff of slapstick and pantomime. My seven year old son, from whose mouth toilet humour tumbles relentlessly, would love it and no doubt laugh hysterically at every turn, now that he can read.

The Pilipino house musos, who found my story about Captain Phu Shit hilarious, assure me I am not the only one, and that it isn’t just English – apparently there are smutty Tagalog and Spanish double entendres as well, accidentally alluding to women’s private parts. Despite having lived here for 30 years, Victor and his wife Elvie claim to still find signs that amuse them, all around the place.

Victor also recounted the story of a guy who operates a small, mobile roadside coffee stand called, in all seriousness, Starbutts. This has provided me with good chortle mileage for several days.  Apart from actual, legitimate Thai words sounding like puerile expletives, Thai people are apparently very aural in their acquisition of English, and don’t stop to check the actual spelling of borrowed words.  Hence my ‘upper lift’ waxing escapade.

Today, on the complimentary half-day tour of the south provided along with my airport transfer with the Phuket Shuttle company, I was taken to a place that specializes in locally-grown tropical sweets and delicacies (fruit, cashew nuts, seafood products etc). It is an apparently prosperous company proudly calling itself Porn Thip (pronounced ‘porn tip’). I thought it was Phrom Thep, named after Cape Phrom Thep on the southernmost tip of Phuket Island, with its spectacular ocean views and a wonderful, colourful  elephant shrine, to which we’d been not an hour earlier.  I had an out loud fit of the giggles upon arrival, which I could not for the life of me explain to the Thai guide (whose English was the most abysmal I’ve encountered so far), and again I wondered what sort of a place I’d been escorted to!

Speaking of language, I have learned a few new Thai words that generate pleasure in Thai speakers if uttered correctly, and a reciprocal cackling mirth if mispronounced: mah (dog), not to be confused with maah (mother, pronounced like a sheep bleating- meh) and chiang (elephant).

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