On the other hand, I cannot stand it when the attention is too forced, fawning and servile. I become positively satirical and my eyeballs develop a sudden heavenward tic when, for instance, the young Thai woman who has just spent the best part of an hour waxing my bits within an inch of their life (more on that particularly hilarious episode later!) exclaims “ you very beautiful now! You very se-ksy!”
Although it pales in comparison to Bali, I’ve already had a
gutful of tuktuk and taxi drivers honking and slowing down alongside me while
I’m out for a walk or a ‘reccy’. Okay, I know-
it’s the low season and they are gagging for the fare… but it annoys me
that they assume I am some sort of
pampered European princess who is unused to heat and incapable of, or
indeed forbidden from, walking more than
ten paces up a sidewalk.
Thus, I am an object of curiosity today as, clad in
still-wet bathers , sarong and hat, wearing my sturdiest walking sandals, and
carrying supplies in my mini backpack,
my ukulele case in my hand, I head up the hill towards a cluster of interesting
cliff-hugging places along the road to Patong, in search of alternative and
affordable eateries with stunning ocean
views.I am halfway up a steep incline when the (possibly bored) security guard stationed at the entrance to the Absolute Nakalay resort next door, calls and gestures to me animatedly to come back down. So I comply, assuming there must be some rule preventing my access. But no, he has simply assumed I want to go the beach, and warned me off continuing on along the high road. At which point I whip out my best daggers knitted-brow look, and my most “I am peeved” body language. I perform a charade to assure him that I am just looking around, and that it is MY CHOICE TO WALK! I also attempt “now look what you’ve made me do- I have to walk back up the rather steep hill again because you have distracted me from my purpose!!!” He sheepishly shrugs his shoulders and rambles on in embarrassed Thai and broken English.
I am vindicated after discovering a couple of interesting
but low season, sleepy reggae bars and the Paradise View Point café, where I end up
enjoying a delicious good value Thai meal, all with stunning views overlooking
a beautiful but unswimmable stretch of ocean. On my way back down the hill to
my hotel, the security guard sees me sauntering casually and steadily past on
the opposite side of the road. He waves and points to me in recognition,
laughing good-naturedly to indicate that he is impressed. I do my best to respond in mime: “ye of little
faith!”
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